2/01/2006

the state of the Tim Kaine's eyebrows


Hmm. I'll be honest, I was in the middle of a multi-orgasmic sex-marathon last night when the President was giving his little speech, so I missed it. I'll read the speech itself sometime in the next day or so, I reckon.

I did manage to catch Virginia Governor Tim Kaine's rebuttal. Kaine has the mischievous look of a satyr, and despite the strange, halting cadence of his speech, there's something irresistible about him. There’s something slightly Jack Nicholsonish about him, too. It could be that arched eyebrow. We definitely need more politicians who can do that. Watch the eyebrow in action here.

Last night that irrepressible eyebrow—something just short of a wink—gave his speech a delicious subtext. It said things you can’t say on the national stage after a big, silly State of the Union address, when everybody’s supposed to pretend to take the presidential palaver seriously. It said, “listen, y’all—you and I both know this joker in the White House don’t know his ass from his elbow.”

Kaine (along with his arched eyebrow) was sworn in a mere three weeks ago, and already he's the darling of national Democrats who are in desperate need of fresh faces and new blood.

I saw Barack Obama last weekend on one of those Sunday morning squawkshows, and thought, God-amighty, man, speak English! Obama is smart, but apparently not smart enough not to act smarter than the rest of us. He's not as bad as John Kerry, who is not as smart as the rest of us and not smart enough not to act like he is, but that's small consolation. Barack, baby: you can't be a populist spouting Shakespearean soliloquies. It's the twenty-first century, sweetie. The vernacular has changed slightly since Elizabethan times. I would love to see someone as smart as Barack in the Oval Office, but, crikey, tone down the ten-dollar words, will ya?

And remember, people who are smart and funny are always preferable to people who are just smart. Just funny even trumps just smart. I don't make the rules, that's just how it is.

Anyway, on very first glimpse I sure liked this Kaine fella's eyebrows. After watching his bemused, delightful little rebuttal, I did some channel-surfing, and wound up watching the last few minutes of the dreadful Bulletproof Monk. The reason I watched was, of course, Seann William Scott's eyebrows, which rank among Hollywood's finest ever. What a delightful face he's got, too.

All in all, a good night for eyebrow watchers everywhere.

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