12/16/2002

of little people and things

Between Zarathustra and the dwarf, I have to say I prefer the dwarf— Zarathustra is all highfalutin theoretical bluster, but the dwarf tells it like it is: ‘“Everything straight lies,” murmurs the dwarf, contemptuously. “All truth is crooked; time itself is a circle.”’

This is what little people are fated to be like, and in this way they are a bit different from animals and objects, which, as has been argued elsewhere, if they are small are to be either indispensable or cute, and if possible both.

One example earlier discussed is the male member. There are ways it can impress one as indispensable, though really it isn’t at all. Mobile phones and wristwatches are indispensable, not penises. One does not need a penis to get by these days. One doesn’t even need one to reproduce. They can be made to seem indispensable, sadly, only when they themselves are formidable and threatening. If they are neither of these things, as most are, they must need be, as defenseless babies in less dainty times, cute—and, I maintain, this is precisely the job of the prepuce. You must admit that the member in the picture (left) brings to mind a napping shar-pei pup, and that rather than recoil, one is inclined to pet it—one’s instinct is to stroke it. Nature is ingenious. She’s full of such mimicry, of course.

So, dwarfs--they cannot be cute like this, though they are small, because they’d come off as grotesque, uncanny versions of children. And they’re obviously no more or less indispensable than ordinary people, who are, on the whole less, not more, indispensable than mobile phones and wristwatches. But neither can they blend in with the general population. They should therefore be contemptuous. It’s the only natural choice.

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