9/07/2006

CBS: Rush Limbaugh afraid Islamo-fascists are going to take away his Viagra, etc.

I'm not too impressed by CBS's retooled Evening News with Katie Couric. There are many reasons not to be impressed, in fact. Chief among them is probably Couric herself. That CBS is blowing its own horn for hiring the first female nightly news host on Network TV, when Cable News has been completely overrun by them for years, doesn't seem forward-thinking at all, but sadly retrograde.

And it shows what a heaping load Americans are dishing out and tucking into these days. I mean, Africa is more forward-thinking than we are when it comes to female heads of state. We haven't even had but one President who wasn't a frickin WASP. And we like to think of ourselves as the most advanced democracy on the planet, where anyone can come out of nowhere and end up in the oval office someday. Yeah, right.

One of the more depressing new features CBS Evening News is touting is their "Free Speech" segment, which has so far been a nightly iteration of various national cliches. That they are giving time to Rush Limbaugh in some attempt to seem balanced is ... I don't know what to call it, really. I mean, Limbaugh already has a venue to spout his nonsense. You know what he's going to say before he says it.

But like I said, that's what the high-speed "Free Speech" segment is really about. It's a little like the Bush administration placing enemies of good government in high government posts in the hopes that they will utterly destroy our faith that the government can do good by not trying to. You know, "heck of a job, Brownie!"-style. And Bush meant it. When your goal is to destroy people's hope and faith in the very possibility of good government, FEMA's utter failure in the wake of Katrina was a rip-snorting success!

Same logic applies to CBS's version of "free speech." If speech like this is free, I might be willing to fork out for speech in the future. Pay-per-Speech can't be far off.

Another thing that cracked me up on Monday -- Katie's big debut -- was the lead story by Lara Logan, about her travels with the Taliban. It was downright burlesque. Here she's traveling with the Taliban and griping that they're making her wear a veil. At one point she tells us, snearingly, "they made me cover everything but my eyes." And then she snaps at one of them, "Well, am I allowed to smile?" NO! BITCH! It's THE TALIBAN! That's WHY they're the freakin Taliban! And what is there to smile about anyway? I mean, WHAT IS YOUR POINT? CBS should have sent Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. It would not have been much different in the end, but at least it would have been more amusing.

Then she reaches the end of her journey into the heart of darkness, they show these ragtag Taliban "brazenly showing off their weapons." It seriously could have been something from The Daily Show.

Then -- and this is the last thing I'll say about CBS Evening News -- they showed part of a speech of Bush's from earlier that day where he parrotted his evil overlords' WWII analogies by comparing Bin Laden & Co. with Hitler and Stalin. And CBS took it upon themselves to helpfully illustrate the point by splitting the screen in three, showing Bush still giving his speech on the left of the screen, and Hitler and Stalin on the right. I'm not sure I see any kind of statement being made with it, but I could be wrong.

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