3/16/2006

my semi-regular bullshit round-up

Bird Flu should be called "Bullshit Flu" with all the hype it's been getting. I think it's a way for people to imagine and talk about the possible demise of 50% of the human population (that's what a bird flu expert told ABC News we could look forward to, if the flu reaches our shores)--which 50%? The reds are hoping it's the blues, and vice versa. But the truth is it's wishful thinking. Now that we can't talk about things like eugenics, and dream of ideological purges, and long for genocides, we find ways to refract our native misanthropy through the the lenses of disease and disaster.

Bullshit factor: 8.2/10

This one's been bugging me ever since I saw that face-transplant lady on TV. A Golden Retriever chewed half her face off while she slept? She wakes up and doesn't notice anything amiss until she goes to light a fag and realizes she doesn't have any lips? I mean, what was she smoking? No matter. The woman clearly does not deserve a face.

Bullshit factor: 8.9/10

This whole "Operation Swarmer" should've been named "Operation Bullshit". On the news they showed pictures of troops assaulting a vast empty field (this is right up there with the Apollo "moon landing"--in fact, it might as well be the Apollo Moon Landing) while some bullshit general or other told reporters that what we were seeing was the Iraqis taking the initiative. 50 Black Hawks, Apaches and Chinooks. 1,450 Iraqi and U.S. troops. 41 arrests. "Operation Bullshit" is sure to cost taxpayers in the billions, but I'll get back to you on that.

Bullshit factor: 9.2/10

Senator Russ Feingold and his bullshit sissy censure ploy. If you're gonna make an ass out of yourself anyway, why not move to impeach?

Bullshit factor: 9.8/10
Pussy factor 10/10

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